Some birthday

Today I told my partner/husband that I didn't want to live with him any more. I feel nauseous with despair. That place in my chest, where we all feel pain and misery, is writhing and clenching. I wonder if I have ever been happy in this relationship and doubt that I had the emotional intelligence to love. I'm talking about 23 years ago when we met. I was 28 years old for god's sake and I was needy and insecure and just wanted someone to love me and take care of me. I was clueless beyond comprehension. But the sad thing is, it has taken 23 years to get my act together. Twenty three years.